It’s not easy to be intentional with people. Especially when you’ve been around a person for a long time. What do you talk about? What do you do? How do you take the relationship even deeper? And why is it important?
Well, it’s important to be intentional, because it keeps a relationship strong. And a strong relationship cannot crumble.
So how do you make the most of the time with your spouse?
1. Limit your access to technology when around your spouse. I’ve said that here and here, because smart phones and TV are the most prevalent but easiest problem to have in your relationships. It’s not that you shouldn’t have a Galaxy S5 or watch the Walking Dead, but you cannot count it as time together when you’re in the same room but not interacting with each other. It doesn’t work that way.
2. Challenge each other to do something through out your day. Often, when you come home from work, you don’t know what to talk about. “How was work, honey?” “Fine.” And that’s about all you got. If you’re finding yourself unable to connect with your spouse about your day, you can challenge each other to have a deep conversation with a coworker (as much as is allowed), look for the beauty in the mundane, look to see where God is present to you, remember something hilarious that happened, commit a practical joke. Whatever. But challenging each other to step outside the drudgery of work and routine spices up your conversation later and helps you become partners in crime. Try it before you knock it.
3. Go on a regular date night. I won’t spend forever on this one, because you’ve heard it soooo many times. But this is valuable and necessary. And while movies are great, push yourselves to try other things that encourage interaction. Hiking, cooking classes, pottery, games nights. There are plenty of options out there that won’t break the bank but will put you face to face.
4. Ask questions. Adam and I do this all the time. We do everything from “what’s currently your favorite color?” (Mine changes a lot), to “what was the worst movie you’ve ever seen?” to “what’s your biggest fear?” to “if you had to escape out of a jail cell and had only the items someone could smuggle inside a cake, what items would you choose?” They range from the silly to the thought provoking, and because we change, the answers sometimes change. You will never run out of things to ask each other, they just might get more ridiculous as you go.
So there’s a start. Time is precious, and the time with your spouse is even more so. Take advantage of your time together as much as you can.
Have any other ways to be intentional with your spouse? I’d love to hear about them in the comments!