Is there something you love doing for yourself, and only for yourself? Like you have no ambitions to make a living from it? You don’t worry a bit about what others think about it?
I have something like that.
I am no artist. I have no skill, no natural talent, and still plenty of respect for the people that do. I never took an art class. Well, unless you count a little two day workshop when I was in grade school. Well, there was also this art class that was really a craft class. But I really have no training. I used to be frustrated when I couldn’t draw a proper hand and my faces looked like zombies, but now I just laugh at whatever finished product I have. Because I know that what I do art-wise is not meant to impress anyone.
It was back in high school when I discovered how cathartic painting was for me. I would grab a couple bottles of acrylic paint and a cheap paintbrush from the basement, and while listening to music, Adventures in Odyssey (I’m still such a kid), or just my thoughts I would proceed to paint a horrendous rendition of whatever image was in my head.
Over the years I forgot how valuable painting was for me as I got busy with college and who knows what else. It wasn’t until last year that I wanted to start it up again, and my husband presented me with a complete paint set for my birthday, not just the watercolors I wanted, but also oils and acrylics. So I’m back to creating monstrosities, but I feel so good about it.
I may be a musician by study, but that art form only creates stress in my life instead of releasing it. Some musicians use their music as a way to unwind and let go – good for them. I cannot. In my music it’s a constant struggle to improve, and I’m always fretting over how I sound, second-guessing my level of talent and how-in-the-world-did-I-manage-to-graduate-with-a-music-degree? But because I know I can’t paint, or draw, or sculpt, I feel no impending doom or self-doubt.
What is your release? The thing you do that’s only for yourself and that you may be terribly bad at?