When I started dating my now-husband, I fantasized about all the time we would spend together when we got married. The one or two times a week we saw each other just wasn’t enough. I knew marriage would be full of togetherness.
Our reality is that days can go by without a meaningful conversation. The first time we may say anything to each other may be when we’re climbing into bed at night. We’re like many other couples: jobs, houses, kids, other relationships—all of these fill up our schedules and we find ourselves looking at each other, wondering if we actually know what the other person is going through.
I would have never thought this would be our reality. I watched my parents get busy with life, I heard about other parents struggling with their schedule as well, but I never dreamed that would happen to adorable little us.
And it did. Life is busy. I’m tired by 8pm…when the kids go to bed. I don’t have much left for Adam at that point, so we’re usually falling asleep watching some show.
Enter: date nights.
Even if it’s just once a month, we’re taking time away from the kids and getting out of the house so we can just get some eye contact. We get to be like college kids again and run around town or play mini golf. We get to look each other in the eye and have deep conversation about our lives and know what’s actually going on.
And I’ve noticed that we’re better synced when we have a date night or get time away (which we do at least once if not twice a year). I’m not as stressed about life in general because I know we have each other’s back. Our lives are a little less whacky and a little more…balanced. The rest of the week just kind of goes better, too. We take advantage of little moments to hug, have a little conversation, smooch.
It’s nothing new: everyone tells us to keep up with date nights once we’re married. But we don’t realize just how important scheduling them into our lives is.